Anxiety and Success Part 1

I would like to start with a disclaimer. I am not an anxiety expert though I have lived with anxiety for most of my life.  I remember the day in high school when i learned what an “Anxiety Disorder” was.

I finally felt like I had a name for the disgusting feeling that seemed to plague my daily life. When I was in high school my anxiety took place in the form of dating and relationships. I would let these things dictate my decisions and my successes. Throughout high school I was told that my anxiety would lessen as I got older. Which made what came next that much worse. Upon entering college my anxiety disorder developed into an eating disorder as well. So now I felt nauseous all the time and would throw up anything I ate. I remember my college doctors trying to throw whatever antidepressants they could at me. Which continuously messed up my anxiety and eating disorders further.

I remember feeling hopeless and depressed for the first time in my life. Did I really have to live like this? Why did I have to live like this? And most importantly, HOW  am I going to live like this? I’ve tried lots of different methods in attempting to control my anxious mind. Though I am here to share my most successful method yet.

After reading a mountain of self help books I think I’ve found a method that works for me. Anxiety is exhausting and can make you feel extremely weak. But you can use anxiety to your advantage. Anxiety is nothing but an energy similar to happiness or sadness. It can be bent and used in a way that is productive and not destructive.

For me, keeping busy keeps those extra thoughts out. For me this looks like a full time student, two part time jobs, and extra time for friends/family. I channel all my anxious energy into being physically and mentally active. This prevents me from having the time to dwell and worry about certain things. Anxious thoughts still find their way in of course. When this happens I have a couple of back up methods. If it’s more of a mental anxiety I will repeat aloud the feelings I want to feel. Maybe even get out the feelings I don’t.

Now if it’s a physical anxiety that can be a different story. For me this takes form in nausea and vomiting. There have been many days where I have been teaching or studying and an anxiety induced vomiting session will ensue. It has gotten to the point that I’ve had to physically remove myself from the situation in order to gain back control. Days like this are defeating. They can make me feel like I am not in charge of my own body. Which is a very powerless feeling. I combat this in a few different ways. CBD is one of the more “PG” ways I control my anxiety and nausea. It can come in many forms. I prefer to smoke it rather than take it orally due to the fact I am already nauseous. CBD allows me to stop vomiting and eventually ease out of the nausea as well.

There will always be lots of new and different methods to control anxiety. Ultimately it comes down to the indivudual to figure out what ways work best for them. Of course having a few extra options never hurt!

I truly believe that the most important thing is to use your anxiety to your advantage. Whatever that means for you. For me, it means that I will not ever stop moving. I will never stop succeeding.

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